Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 8:55 AM PST
Subject: The memorial service
Message:
I received the following message from Pat.
"Robin's memorial will be at 4:00 Thursday, October 24 at the Church on the River in Memphis, Tennessee. Any donations can be made to PETA or Monastery of St. Clare at 1310 Dellwood Avenue in Memphis. Flowers are fine. They need to be sent to Canale Funeral Directors in Memphis."
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:00 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: Thanks so much, Mrs. B
Message:
This can't be easy, but, as you can see, TORnsibs want to know.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:07 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks so much, Mrs. B
Subject: Thank you, Scout
Message:
I'll say it again, this is an amazing place and an amazing group of peeps, as our Wid would say.
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:01 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: Mrs B -
Message:
Could you thank Pat for thinking of us? She has to be going through a terrible time right now, and it was good of her to let us know.
Thank you for your updates.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:15 AM PST
In Reply To: Mrs B -
Subject: I'll do that
Message:
I've also mentioned all the tributes that have been pouring in here on the board. I hope she sees them.
Nick: Stapper
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:16 AM PST
In Reply To: I'll do that
Message:
Thanks for doing that
Nick: greenleafphf
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:02 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Message:
Thank you so much, Mrs B!
Nick: Thevina Finduilas
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:05 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: Thank you. Other TN TORnsibs...
Message:
... I'm in Nashville, and a bit of a ways away, but... anyone else thinking of going? And thank you, Mrs. Boromir. This is the third suicide of a friend I've gone through this year. *heavy, heavy sigh*
Nick: Gaelsong
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:08 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Message:
Thanks Mrs. B
Nick: WrightWords
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:11 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Message:
Thank you for bearing this burden. Hug.
Nick: Roheryn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:19 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: Thanks for sharing, Mrs. B.
Message:
This can't be easy on you, but it gives me some comfort to know we have a connection with her family and friends. I can hope that they'll see some of the grief expressed here.
Nick: NZ Strider
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:25 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: Thank you. I'm only now
Message:
reading about this, and am terribly saddened. I shall remember the family in my prayers.
Nick: grammaboodawg
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:27 AM PST
In Reply To: The memorial service
Subject: I worry for you.
Message:
and appreciate so much what you're doing for us when you have to be overwhelmed yourself. Please let Pat know we sincerely care and peace is pray for you both and everyone in Robin's life. I've lost friends like ths before. I'm gld she had solice here. peace, love, hugs.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:26 AM PST
In Reply To: I worry for you.
Subject: ((gramma))
Message:
I'm deeply grateful to everyone and have found these tributes so very therapeutic. Thanks for thinking of me.
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 9:53 AM PST
Subject: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Message:
Mrs. B told us "Flowers are fine. They need to be sent to Canale Funeral Directors in Memphis."
I'm thinking FTD; this sounds tacky, but I can get a discount through my job, which to me means a bigger arrangement. I have a Paypal account, and would be glad to order a wreath (a Ring?). (I'm sure there's some kind of confirmation e-mail I could forward to anyone who wanted to contribute.)
Please post a reply, or e-mail me - []
Thanks!
Nick: Kyriel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:06 AM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: I would, but let me make a suggestion
Message:
I don't know how Paypal works exactly, but I'm guessing you want us to send you reimbursement for the wreath. Now, this has absolutely nothing to do with you, but I'm not comfortable with sharing my real name or other personal info with most folks I meet online, much less sending someone a check.
Let me suggest that you call FTD, get the order started, and share their contact info with us. Then whoever wants to contribute can call FTD and pitch in via credit card, over the phone.
--Kyriel
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:18 AM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: I'd be interested
Message:
I have a PayPal account (obviously from my post below!) and would love to contribute to a wreath from TORn.
Nick: maegwen
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:23 AM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: good idea
Message:
the pay pal thing makes sense... just post the details when you have them.
Nick: Thevina Finduilas
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:25 AM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Message:
Widfara obviously loved TORn. For those who might prefer, why not actually make a donation to TORn itself, in her memory? That can be done via paypal, I believe, or even done through Amazon.com, where TORn is a partner in a giving program. I'm sure there's an administrator lurking around that can explain better.
This is a truly unique community, and supporting it in her memory will help ensure its continuation to support all of us who were brought together via love of J.R.R. Tolkien.
Nick: maegwen
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:35 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: *hugs thevina* also a good idea... and
Message:
Mrs. Boromir's post suggests two groups that Widfara supported.
Whatever the group decides is fine with me (if that matters)
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:35 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: Link on home
Message:
On the home page, the link to donate is located below the menu box on the left. IIRC, it links to Amazon...
Nick: Annael
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:36 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: Good idea.
Message:
I will do so.
Nick: greenleafphf
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:37 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: V. good idea Thevina
Message:
A donation to TORn would be lasting...
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:43 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: yes, very good idea
Message:
that would make her happy
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:43 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: Very good idea
Message:
And in Mrs B's post she also mentioned donations can be made to PETA or Monastery of St. Clare at 1310 Dellwood Avenue in Memphis. TORn, of course, is closest to all of our hearts.
Nick: Idril Celebrindal
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:21 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Message:
Good idea ...
Nick: Tauriel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:28 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Subject: It's a great idea
Message:
And I think I'll do that or give something to PETA (or give a little bit to both). Contributing to flowers is out of the question for me, as there is no possible way I can find a way to chip in in time, as I haven't got a credit card, and any other methods of payment requires you to be in the US, it seems. With a donation to TORN and/or PETA, I can take a little more time to find somebody with a credit card who will let me use that.
Nick: Patty
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:31 AM PST
In Reply To: Another thought, aside from flowers:
Message:
I like this idea very much.
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:41 AM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: FTD was little help...
Message:
If there is a way to do as Kyriel suggests below, I'm not sure what it is, and neither was the rep I spoke to at FTD. It seems I might have to set up a corporate account; she didn't have a phone number and there isn't one on the site, and waiting for a reply to an e-mail might take too long.
I just upgraded my Paypal account to accept credit cards; the account is under my e-mail address, []. You would have to log in, using your e-mail address and creating a password; if you have an account set up, you can transfer funds from your bank to Paypal, or, with the upgrade, use your credit card; what I will receive is notification that someone has sent me money. The confirmation will have your e-mail address and real name on it; I know that is beyond the comfort level of a lot of us, and with good reason - but if it makes you feel any better you'll also have my name and e-mail addy. No credit card or bank information changes hands whatsoever; Ebay just bought out Paypal, and it's one of the most used method of payment. I've been using it to pay and be paid for auctions for two years without a problem.
I'm an admin assistant in RL, so I'm all about confirmations and the like; anyone who wants to chip in will get a forward of any and all messages I receive from Paypal and/or FTD.
Thanks, everyone.
Nick: maegwen
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:11 PM PST
In Reply To: Would anyone like to go in on flowers for Wídfara?
Subject: done, thanks
Message:
I have no problem with sending you cash via PayPal, and have already done so.
Thanks for doing this.
*hugs*
--maegwen
Nick: Ataahua
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:23 AM PST
Subject: A poem for TORNsibs and for Widfara
Message:
I received this poem last year following the death of my mother, and it brought me a lot of comfort. Maybe it will help fellow TORNadoes on this very sad day.
Death is nothing at all
Death is nothing at all, I have slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used to. Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without a trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is an unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
.
.
.
Unfortunately I don't know who the author of the poem is.
Rest in peace Wid, and by warmest thoughts go to your family and friends.
Nick: greenleafphf
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:51 AM PST
In Reply To: A poem for TORNsibs and for Widfara
Message:
that's beautiful Ataahua!
Nick: Olorin of the West
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:53 AM PST
In Reply To: A poem for TORNsibs and for Widfara
Message:
thank you
Nick: Roheryn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:55 AM PST
In Reply To: A poem for TORNsibs and for Widfara
Subject: This one's a keeper.
Message:
Thanks for sharing this, Ataahua. People we love will always be a part of us.
Nick: Ginger
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:56 PM PST
In Reply To: A poem for TORNsibs and for Widfara
Message:
Thank you Ataahua, and my condolences about your Mom
Nick: Greenwood Hobbit
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 10:58 AM PST
Subject: Another one for Widfara
Message:
and for all who search for hope in the darkest of times. One of mine, this.
If I should die when spring around is bursting
Life athirst for water, air and sun
Breathe in deeply, feel the fresh sap rising
Plant and grow, move on, the year’s begun.
If I should die when summer warms and ripens
Long the days, though my brief days are past
Feel the warmth and look toward the harvest
Fruitful live, and fruitful pass at last.
If I should die when autumn leaves are falling
Gather some in, the amber, russet, gold
Scatter them round me, all the while recalling
The new leaf’s in the bud when dies the old.
If I should die when winter’s fierce and frosty
Cold the land and cramped the daylight hours
Remember that the winter cleans and purges
And amidst it all, the snowdrop flowers.
Whenever I should die, it’s a beginning
The wheel moves on, its journey never ends
So think of me - or not - as it seems fitting
I live on in my family and friends
JVT 2002
Nick: Tauriel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:00 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Thanks, Greenwood! That is very beautiful
Nick: Flower of Telperion
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:03 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Stunning! Thank you very much.
Nick: Eledhwen
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:06 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Beautiful. Thank you.
Nick: Quickiegirl
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:06 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
What a lovely poem and message. It would be great to compile these poems and pieces together in some way.
Nick: Sangoff
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:12 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Very beautiful Greenwood Hobbit!
Nick: Elwen
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:17 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Lovely. Thanks for sharing that.
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:38 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Subject: That gives me comfort
Message:
Thanks Greenwood. It is a wonderful message.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:45 AM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Thank you, Greenwood. Very beautiful.
Nick: Ginger
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:58 PM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Message:
Thank you, Greenwood Hobbit
Nick: FattyLumpkin79
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 4:17 PM PST
In Reply To: Another one for Widfara
Subject: My appreciations...
Message:
Thank you for such a beautiful poem, Greenwood Hobbit. I will keep this in mind. Those who are left behind can only cope with such a loss and try to move on.
True enough, life is too short.
Nick: Curious
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:11 AM PST
Subject: Another tribute to Widfara.
Message:
A few months ago I collected some of our favorite word pictures drawn by Tolkien. Widfara made two contributions. You may or may not find them applicable to this moment. As Tolkien said, applicability "resides in the freedom of the reader." I am posting them in tribute to Widfara, simply because she loved them:
"Forty leagues it stretched from the Far Downs to the Brandywine Bridge, and fifty from the northern moors to the marshes in the south. The Hobbits named it the Shire, as the region of the authority of their Thain, and a district of well-ordered business; and there in that pleasant corner of the world they plied their well-ordered business of living, and they heeded less and less the world outside where dark things moved, until they came to think that peace and plenty were the rule in Middle-earth and the right of all sensible folk. They forgot or ignored what little they had known of the Guardians, and of the labours of those that made possible the long peace of the Shire. They were, in fact, sheltered, but they had ceased to remember it."
. . .
"Haldir had gone on and was now climbing to the high flet. As Frodo prepared to follow him, he laid his hand upon the tree beside the ladder: never before had he been so suddenly and so keenly aware of the feel and texture of a tree's skin and of the life within it. He felt a delight in wood and the touch of it, neither as forester nor as carpenter; it was the delight of the living tree itself."
Nick: Thevina Finduilas
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:28 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Message:
Very, very thoughful. They are beautiful passages.
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:28 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: Thanks for posting those, Curious
Message:
It somehow makes me feel connected.
Nick: Greenwood Hobbit
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:29 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: Fine images, both. I know nothing of
Message:
Widfara's life and the circumstances that led her to take such an irrevocable step, but I hope Tolkien's words gave her solace, and acted both as a haven and respite. Thank you for sharing her choices.
Nick: Celandine Brandybuck
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:32 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: Thank you, Curious.
Message:
Nice to read those again.
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:33 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: thank you for these Curious
Message:
It gives me comfort to read them and to know that they were near to her heart. It makes me feel nearer also.
May she find in the next life what she could not in this one. Safe journey Wid.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:48 AM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: Thank you, Curious.
Message:
Wid was looking forward (dreading actually) her stint in the Reading Room next spring, making me promise to be there with her. Oh that I could...
Nick: Roheryn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:19 PM PST
In Reply To: Another tribute to Widfara
Subject: A similar tribute
Message:
Two months ago, I asked people to share their favorite Tolkien quotes that helped them get through dark times. The following passages were the ones that Wíd shared. Knowing what made her smile brings a small glimmer of comfort to me, so I hope these can do the same for others.
[the following was all written by Wíd]
I like this one, very comforting. From Farewell to L≤rien:
"Good night, my friends!" said Galadriel. "Sleep in peace! Do not trouble your hearts overmuch with thought of the road tonight. Maybe the paths that you each shall tread are already laid before your feet, though you do not see them. Good night!"
This speaks to bravery:
From Treebeard from TTT:
"Of course, it is likely enough, my friends," he said slowly, "likely enough that we are going to our doom: the last march of the Ents. But if we stayed at home and did nothing, doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. That thought has long been growing in our hearts; and that is why we are marching now. It was not a hasty resolve. Now at least the last march of the Ents may be worth a song. Aye," he sighed, "we may help the other peoples before we pass away...."
And this to perseverance:
From The Black Gate is Closed from TTT:
"I am commanded to go to the land of Mordor, and therefore I shall go," said Frodo. "If there is only one way, then I must take it. What comes after must come."
Sam said nothing. The look on Frodo’s face was enough for him; he knew that words were useless. And after all he never had any real hope in the affair from the beginning; but being a cheerful hobbit he had not needed hope, as long as despair could be postponed.
And about the possibility of happy endings:
From The Stairs of Cirith Ungol from TTT:
"I wonder what sort of a tale we’ve fallen into?"
"I wonder," said Frodo. "But I don’t know. And that’s the way of a real tale. Take any one that you’re fond of. You may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is, happy-ending or sad-ending, but the people in it don’t know. And you don’t want them to."
"Why, come to think of it, we’re in the same tale! It’s going on. Don’t the great tales never end?"
"No, they never end as tales," said Frodo. "But the people in them come, and go when their part’s ended. Our part will end later - or sooner."
"And then we can have some rest and some sleep," said Sam. He laughed grimly. "And I mean just that, Mr. Frodo. I mean plain ordinary rest, and sleep, and waking up to a morning’s work in the garden. I’m afraid that’s all I’m hoping for all the time. All the big important plans are not for my sort. Still, I wonder if we shall ever be put into songs or tales. We’re in one, of course; but I mean: put into words, you know, told by the fireside, or read out of a great big book with red and black letters, years and years afterwards. And people will say: ‘Let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring!’ And they’ll say: ‘Yes, that’s one of my favourite stories. Frodo was very brave, wasn’t he, dad?’ ‘Yes, my boy, the famousest of hobbits, and that’s saying a lot.’"
"Why, Sam," he said, "to hear you somehow makes me as merry as if the story was already written. But you’ve left out one of the chief characters: Samwise the stouthearted. ‘I want to hear more about Sam, dad. Why didn’t they put in more of his talk, dad? That’s what I like, it makes me laugh. And Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam, would he, dad?’"
"Now, Mr. Frodo," said Sam, "you shouldn’t make fun. I was serious."
"So was I," said Frodo, "and so I am. We’re going on a bit too fast. You and I, Sam, are still stuck in the worst places of the story, and it is all too likely that some will say at this point: ‘Shut the book now, dad; we don’t want to read any more.’"
Nick: grammaboodawg
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:32 PM PST
In Reply To: A similar tribute
Subject: I just went to the TORN family album
Message:
to visit everyone... and to see Widfara. These are wonderful to read Curious, Roheryn and everyone who has found the strength to post their hthoughts and poetr. the greif is otoo near.
Nick: CuriousNick: Telkemeniel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 1:26 PM PST
In Reply To: I just went to the TORN family album
Message:
Here's that link.
Nick: Mirkwood Maiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 2:12 PM PST
In Reply To: Here's that link. (No Text - Link Inside)
Subject: Actually, her pic has been moved.
Message:
At the suggestion of a fellow TORnSib, I have moved Widfara's picture to 'The Grey Havens' page. (link in the footer)
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 3:09 PM PST
In Reply To: A similar tribute
Message:
Thanks, Curious & Roheryn. Very beautiful.
Nick: dudalb
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:27 AM PST
Subject: Sad Day for TORN.
Message:
I think this is the first time we lost one of our own. RIP Widfara.
If any good comes out of things like this, it is that it helps us keep things in perspective and reminds us that in the end there are things bigger and more important then movies.
Nick: Sangoff
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:32 AM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Message:
Yes, very sad. :(
Nick: Greenwood Hobbit
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:38 AM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Subject: How true. It also shows us
Message:
how much more there is to people that post on the boards than they show us, how much exists that we will never see or guess at. We are all complex creatures. TORn means many things to many people; kindness and good humour in our dealings with each other on the boards can brighten dreary days, and will I hope continue to do so. We are sharing sadness now; we will share brighter times in future, but will not forget.
Nick: Aydria Elenlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:41 AM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Subject: oh my God..
Message:
I've been gone from TORN on a brief hiatus, and I came back to find this terrible shock.. I lost a friend to suicide four years ago on Oct. 20 and it's bringing back a lot of those old memories.. what a sad, sad day.
Nick: Galadlinderiel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 11:45 AM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Message:
Yes, indeed.
Nick: Pennadariel
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:03 PM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Subject: We might have never seen you, but we do remember you
Message:
Good bye, Widfara
RIP
"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 12:20 PM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Subject: yes indeed
Message:
And I think we all realize that there are things more important than movies. I have never been on a board before that was this close or this kind.
Nick: quickbeam2002
Date/Time: Tue, 10/22/2002 at 1:07 PM PST
In Reply To: Sad Day for TORN.
Subject: Oh no :(:(:(
Message:
Just came home from a week's vacation....so shocking and sad to hear this. My prayers and thoughts go out to Widfara's family and everyone on TORn.