Nick: Smokering
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 3:54 AM PST
Subject: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Message:
Hi. Sorry, I know this has kind of stopped being on the boards and I don't want to keep dragging it up. But this isn't really a eulogy so I don't think it's appropriate for Widfara's website. It's just something I wrote because it's how I felt, and it might be how other people felt too so I thought I'd post it. I hope no-one finds it too depressing or anything. And please don't tell me it's a terrible poem, I *know* that. Wid would just laugh if she read it! Still, here goes:
October 24, when I learned--
Learned a lot
Learned about you--
the words engraved by stabbing searing steel
upon our hearts
Robin
bright-eyed, quick, chirpy
What drove you to leave
those whom you loved?
The story plays on,
but without you to see.
You were meant for times of peace
not the Shadow
not the dark
not the night.
You left us the memories of laughter and love
We mourn for what might have been for us, for you
You! Of all the world!
to leave it, seeing only dark
because you gave your light away.
And yet
ripples of human
contact
spread from you still. How?
You cannot touch so many people with hands dipped in love
and leave no mark
upon our hearts.
-Smokering.
Nick: Watson
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 6:21 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: Actually, it would be fine
Message:
And it's lovely. Take a look at the other messages posted thus far in the Memorial book (link below). I think it would be perfectly appropriate among them.
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 8:05 AM PST
In Reply To: Actually, it would be fine
Subject: I agree.
Message:
And it's very nice, Smokering.
Nick: Eledhwen
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 8:26 AM PST
In Reply To: Actually, it would be fine
Subject: Agreed
Message:
It's a lovely tribute, Smokering.
Nick: Julie of the pointed ears
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 6:26 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: I don't think it's terrible, Smokering
Message:
I like it.
I don't think it will ever be too late to mourn Wíd. So many people are just finding out, or just starting to cope. If anyone needs a (virtual) hug or just to share or talk, no one here's going to mod you down for it. And if they do... well, I'll just mod you back up!
It's a lovely poem, Smokering. No one ever thinks their poetry's any good when it is. Kind of like school pictures... Anyway, if you write much poetry, I have a lovely little link in my footer (it's red and at the end) that I want you to please check out.
God bless.
Nick: jordan_the_discursive
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 7:04 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: It's wonderful!
Message:
I think the only thing that has stopped is the searing pain (to use your words) that we all felt at first, but there is no way that our thoughts of Wid will ever stop, so I'm glad you posted this. It's truly lovely, and really captures the emotions that I'm sure we all felt.
I'm working on something too for her memorial board, although I may just go with a snippet of some song lyrics from Eric Bogle. Have you ever heard the song "One Small Star"? It's perfect for her, but I don't want to risk any copyright infringement so I may not use it.
Thanks again for posting this!
Nick: Vairë the Weaver
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 7:06 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: It's very nice
Message:
and expresses your feelings - I say post it on Watson's page.
Nick: Mirkwood Maiden
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 8:08 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: (((Smokering)))
Message:
I think its a beautiful poem. I realy do. It brought a tear to my eye, and yet, it also brought a smile. I know Robin would have loved it!
Pretty please, submit it to Watson's memory book. It does belong, it will fit in, I promise you that. Go to the site, and check it out. You'll see what I mean.
In the meantime, love and hugs to you sweetie. We're all in this together and we will all heal together.
Blessed Be,
MM
Nick: Sangoff
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 9:19 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Message:
That's beautiful Smokering! :)
Nick: greendragon
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 9:39 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: It's great Smokering
Message:
and we're all still thinking about Wid, so IMHO, don't be afraid to mention her again - we shouldn't feel like we have to banish all such thoughts from the board. Thanks for sharing!
Nick: Greenwood Hobbit
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 10:33 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Message:
It's not terrible, it's from the heart, and very moving.
Nick: grammaboodawg
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 10:35 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: If you don't send
Message:
this for her website, I'll be very bummed with you. There's no timeclock on grieving for someone. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts and words whenever you need to. D'ya hear?!!
Smokering... you've touched my heart. I'm so glad you shared this. I still think of Wid constantly... and your poem is so true to what I've been feeling. Send it... please. It's very good :)
Nick: Uitlander
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 10:48 AM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: Well, Smokering...
Message:
...if that's a "terrible poem" then why am I crying? It's beautiful, and I *do* think you should submit it to the website. I especially love the part "could only see dark because she gave her light away." Thank you for posting this.
- Uit
Nick: Celandine Brandybuck
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 1:01 PM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: Smokering -
Message:
I've copied it, actually, and will put it on the web page (eventually, it's taking awhile to pull stuff together) if you don't mind. If you do mind email me, celb@uci.net
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 2:13 PM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: That's beautiful, Smokering
Message:
I don't think you need to apologize for bringing Widfara up ... in fact, I'm glad you did. She was part of the boards for I don't know how long - *long* - she certainly deserves to be remembered longer than a few days. Hopefully people will be thinking of her for a long time to come.
Nick: River-Woman
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 3:09 PM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Subject: Smokering ... that is lovely! Well done ...
Message:
Robin would have loved it.
Thank you and blessings.
RW.
Nick: Mar
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 3:34 PM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Message:
Oh, this is very beautiful.
Nick: Raynbow Elf
Date/Time: Sat, 10/26/2002 at 4:47 PM PST
In Reply To: A sort of poem I wrote for Wid
Message:
That was really nice. Brought tears to my eyes.
Nick: Lottelita
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:02 AM PST
Subject: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Message:
I've been ill and overwhelmed with school lately, and so hadn't been on TORn for over a week when I got jordan's e-mail last night about Wídfara. After crying most of yesterday evening and again this morning while going through all of your posts, I just wanted to extend a heartfelt thanks to everyone. I wish I could have been here last week to receive your support realtime and to offer my own, but the wonderful thing about TORn is that conversations never really end: they're preserved on some dusty server somewhere, and we can revisit them whenever we want to.
I feel that way about Wídfara, too: I only knew her through our conversations here, and those are still available to me, and to anyone who wants to read them. That, of course, is little comfort - but even a little helps.
I want to extend a few particular thanks: to jordan for letting me know of our loss, to Mrs. B for showing such strength and guidance to all of us, to Roheryn and Mirkwood Maiden for sharing their part of Wídfara's story, to Aerlinn for organizing the flowers, to Nessimë and Lostcause and everyone else who opened up about their own struggles and perspective, and to all the TORnsibs who expressed their sadness, caring, and remembrances. I, too, suffer from depression, and have often turned to TORn for a laugh or a chat or a ponder; I cherish the interactions I have here with all of you.
Many thanks, and much love.
Claire ("Lottelita")
Nick: Mirkwood Maiden
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:09 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: (((Lottelita)))
Message:
We're all here for you, and we will all get through this together. Hugs, hugs and more hugs.
Email me anytime if you need or want to talk... even if you just need to ramble. My Inbox is always open to a TORnSib!
Cheers luv!
MM
Nick: jordan_the_discursive
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:11 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{{{Lot}}}}
Message:
Glad to see you back with us! And so sorry to hear of your illness. Hope you will be doing much better very soon.
Yes, it was a very sad and difficult week, and personally, I have missed Wid much more than I thought I could miss a "virtual" friend. This experience has illustrated very clearly that my virtual friendships are quite real and meaningful, and like you, I truly cherish the time I spend here, and the friendships I've made here. I feel that this is a safe place, made all the more special because of what brought us here in the first place - our love of Tolkien.
Thanks for your post, my dear, and please know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
Nick: Nessimë
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:19 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: Aww... Lotte!
Message:
I'm so sorry you couldn't be with us last week, but I hope the other posts helped you as much as they helped me. *hug* Hope you're feeling better and things with school have settled down too... *another hug*
Take care! :)
Nick: Tauriel
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:25 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: ((Lottelita))
Message:
This has really made the question "What happened when I was gone?" make us all shudder. It's very sad when people keep finding out for the first time. I'm so sorry for you that you couldn't be here back then and experience all the support that was shown. But be sure that we have just as much support for you know.
I really hope you'll be feeling better soon. Take care!
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:30 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{{{Lottelita}}}}
Message:
Welcome back - you were missed!
I love your point about the continuance of our conversations here ... I went looking back through some of Widfara's older posts, originally looking for her footers, but before long just revisiting ... it hurt, but it helped.
Feel better, Lottelita - and like MM said, my inbox is always open to TORnsibs!
(*Tight hug*)
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:31 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: we've missed you
Message:
I never thought I would grow to missing people I have never met - but it's true. And we will all miss Widfara. Last week was so hard for so many of us but I was inspired and moved by how the entire site pulled together! It was amazing to witness such warmth and support from dear friends -- there is nothing "virtual" about these friends here.
*BIG HUG* to you - and rest and drink lots of fluids. I think that cures anything. Except a broken heart. Take care. :)
Nick: Aunt Dora Baggins
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:48 PM PST
In Reply To: we've missed you
Subject: "Hearts will never be practical until...
Message:
they can be made unbreakable." -Wizard of Oz
"But I still want one." -Tin Man
Loving is always a risk; you'll break your heart over and over. But it's still well worth it. Here's my hug for Lottelita: OOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nick: Scout B
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:44 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{Lottelita}}
Message:
Ditto to what the others have said already...
Nick: Altaira
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 11:50 AM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: Welcome back
Message:
Sorry to hear you've been ill. Maybe all that school did it?
The good news is that the same wonderful TORN community is still here, even if RL drags us away for a while. Welcome back, and I hope you're feeling better!
Nick: grammaboodawg
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:19 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: You've helped me w/out knowing it!
Message:
I had copied and hung on my wall from your posts that picture of Boromir and Aragorn where Boromir says "What the bloody 'ell is that?" and Aragorn says, "It's a frothing mass of fangirls, led by that raving tart, Lottelita! This is a foe beyond either of us: RUN!" and a subject line you responded to that says, "TTT Trailer: What does Aragorn Yell at H.D." and you responded, "SAME TO YOUR MOTHER!"
I've been looking at those all the time... especially this past week and as recently as lunch today... and it makes me smile and chuckle every single time. You were here, m'dear. Through it all... and I appreciate your wit and steadfastness so much... as I do everyone else here. That's what family does for each other... we're there in spirit if not in person.
It's still right here. I've been out of it all day... but you're right... it helps to go back and read her posts. Such a doll!
Hugs, m'dear. Big hug. And thanks :)
Nick: Stapper
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:36 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: Keep up! (some very personal stuff from my side)
Message:
Sorry to hear you were ill.
Keep up, for you're not the only one feeling bad. Please don't leave the world. Talk about your feelings!!
There's too much to live for. Sounds like an ordinairy sentence, but in the 17 years of my excistance I found out for myself it's true. An example: after feeling bad for a while I found out there was a boy liking me. He has been my boyfriend for a week now. (He's the first one:))
I felt really bad when I read the sad news about Widfara's death and cried all day. I'm glad my dad was at home, so he helped me a little.
Last friday, I went to family of mine and my cousin played some guitar for me. At a certain point he started to play Bright eyes (Art Garfunkel). And while he sang
Bright eyes
Burning like fire
Bright eyes
How can you close and fail
How can a light that burns so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale
Bright eyes
I started to cry again. He didn't understand what happened and was like 'O my God, what did I do wrong??' So I told him about Widfara. He understood me quite well and we talked about life and death.
Once again I found out how important my family is to me. I can tell them everything, especially two of my cousins, who are a little younger than I am (the one with the guitar is one of them). I'm very close with those two and they are very important to me.
Telling you this means I also trust you and the others on this board. You guys are also important to me and I want to thank you for being being there for ech other when that's needed
Nick: Celandine Brandybuck
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:46 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{Lottelita}}
Message:
Glad you're back and as okay as you can be. Take care.
Nick: Lottelita
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 1:58 PM PST
In Reply To: {{Lottelita}
Subject: An idea for the site ...
Message:
I'm not sure if someone's already working on this, but I think it would be nice to add a part to the memorial site with some of our favorites of Wid's footers, puns, jokes, posts, etc. I'd be happy to do some of the culling from the archives, if people would be interested in it. I think it's important to celebrate what we all loved as well as to share our sadness and support.
Nick: Roheryn
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 3:53 PM PST
In Reply To: An idea for the site ...
Subject: That's a great idea...
Message:
I'd thought about doing it myself but don't really have the time. I'd love to see a collection of her footers/posts/etc. It would be a great way to show why we all thought so much of her, and a great way to remember her.
Nick: Uitlander
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:49 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: Glad you're back, Lottelita!
Message:
Sorry you had to get the bad news late...but we are all here, and committed to making TOR.n more fun, welcoming and caring than ever. I hope you'll be part of that, Lottelita. I've really enjoyed your posts. Take care, and hope you're feeling better.
Uit.
Nick: Aydria Elenlinn
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 12:54 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: *hugs Lotte*
Message:
Glad to have you back, and hope you are over your illness soon.
Sorry that you had to come back on such a sad note.. I miss Wid a lot, too. E-mail me if you need to vent or anything, I'm here for you as one broke college student to another!
Nick: Roheryn
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 1:50 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{{Lottelita}}}
Message:
So sorry to hear you've been sick! Hope you feel back to normal soon. As for being swamped with school work, I'm afraid the only cure for that is the end of the semester.
Sorry, too, that you couldn't be here with us last week. The outpouring of grief and support was amazing, and it really meant a lot to me to be a part of it. I'm glad going back to those posts is helpful to you. We're all here for each other, and here if you have thoughts you want to share.
Love and hugs to you, and hang in there, dear.
Nick: Lottelita
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 1:55 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: You guys!
Message:
You're the best. I'm glad I have you all to make life a little easier. *love*
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 5:59 PM PST
In Reply To: Thanks to everyone for last week's posts.
Subject: {{{{{Lotters}}}}}
Message:
Gramma is right, you were here with us. I thought of you often through it all and that in itself was a comfort.
What are we gonna do without our Wid...?
I'll tell ya, *she said holding back the tears.* We're going to be stronger, closer, wiser, and more accepting. That's her legacy. I used to feel silly using the word 'Tornsib,' but now I'm proud to use it and I'm proud of our sibs. Wid would be too.
We love ya, Lotte! Welcome back.
Nick: greendragon
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 5:35 PM PST
Subject: Songs for Widfara
Message:
I hope people don't feel that I'm bringing up a painful subject, but a week on from Robin's untimely death, I'm sure that many TORnsibs, like me, are thinking of her. I also know that there are the memorial pages on which to place messages, but I just wanted to share this with you guys here. I hope you'll indulge and excuse me...
I was thinking about Widfara this weekend, when at one point I was feeling particularly excited about TTT, and it really hit me that she won't be around to see it. Obvious, I know, and unimportant perhaps - I'm sure there are many, far more significant things for which she won't be here, but the thought that she had shared with us in all our anticipation for the films, and that now she won't see the next two, just really made me sad, and made me realize how very sad she must have been - she must have felt that there was no light for her in those dark places where all other lights had gone out.
On Saturday night I was singing in a concert - the songs were by a local composer and set texts by Rainer Maria Rilke. The texts somehow made me think of Tolkien and of Widfara - they envoke nature and human emotions so beautifully, and I think Wid would have enjoyed them. So I decided to sing the songs for her - I offered up a prayer for her before I went on stage, and then I thought of her as I prepared to sing - ‘Wid, these songs are for you - I hope my offering flies up to you and that you are at peace now.’
L.Ron kindly came to hear me sing, and he too thought that Widfara would have liked these songs, so I thought I would share them with you guys. I'll post this message at the memorial pages too, but I just thought you might like to see them here - mod them off if I have done wrong! Just thinking of you, Robin - always here with us in our thoughts...
Autumn Day
Lord: it is time. The huge summer has gone by.
Now overlap the sundials with your shadows,
and on the meadows let the wind go free.
Command the fruit to swell on tree and vine;
grant them a few more warm transparent days,
urge them on to fulfillment then, and press
the final sweetness into the heavy wine.
Whoever has no house now will never have one.
Whoever is alone, will stay alone,
will sit, read, write long letters through the evening,
and wander on the boulevards, up and down,
restlessly, while the dry leaves are blowing.
Evening
The sky puts on the darkening blue coat
held for it by a row of ancient trees;
you watch: and the lands grow distant in your sight,
one journeying to heaven, one that falls;
and leave you not at home in either one,
not quite so still as the darkened houses,
not calling to eternity with the passion
of what becomes a star each night and rises;
and leave you (inexpressibly to unravel)
your life with its immensity and fear,
so that now bounded, now immeasurable,
it is alternately stone in you and star.
(Translations by Stephen Mitch)
Nick: Aydria Elenlinn
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 6:11 PM PST
In Reply To: Songs for Widfara-
Subject: thanks, Greendragon
Message:
I agree, those are wonderful poems.
I think I know how you feel - several of the songs I am singing for my senior recital make me think of Widfara, and I will be thinking of her now whenever I sing them.
Thanks for sharing your insights, I don't think they were inappropriate at all!
Nick: Ginger
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 6:47 PM PST
In Reply To: Songs for Widfara-
Message:
Thanks for sharing these
Nick: Altaira
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 7:52 PM PST
In Reply To: Songs for Widfara-
Subject: I heard
Message:
you sing beautifully (L. Ron shared it in an answer to a post the other night about going to the opera).
I'm sure Widfara was listening and smiling! :)
Nick: Mar
Date/Time: Mon, 10/28/2002 at 10:07 PM PST
In Reply To: Songs for Widfara-
Message:
Beautiful. Thanks.
Nick: Aerlinn
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 12:41 PM PST
Subject: One more update on the Widfara Fund
Message:
I've e-mailed all those who contributed to Wíd's flowers, but just in case I missed anyone, and because I know many contributed to TORn or another cause in her name - *and* because this was done in the name of TORn, and we all miss her:
Earlier today I ordered a plant to be sent to Wídfara's friend Pat, who took the time last Tuesday to let us know the news. There's a link below to an image.
First thing Friday I will be sending in a $55 donation to TORn, and a $55 donation to PETA; I know PETA allows for the making of a memorial page, and I plan to take them up on it - I'll post the URL. (Earendil - may I use your banner?)
Thank you all again for the amazing show of love and community over the last week - I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I've never seen anything like it in my life. I'm incredibly proud of us.
Nick: Mrs. Boromir
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 12:46 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Subject: And I'm incredibly proud of YOU, 'linn!
Message:
Our Aerlinn chose the most beautiful wreath of flowers for Wid's memorial, and now has chosen a GORGEOUS potted plant of lavendar. Very Middle-Earthish! Thank you to everyone who contributed, but mostly, thank you, Aerlinn, for taking such good care of all the precious details.
Nick: Arwenelf
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 12:52 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Subject: Thanks Aerlinn and btw
Message:
TORn were donating onwards I do believe.
Email [tehanu] about it to be sure. She will be able to explain exactly what it is they are doing better than I can.
Nick: Ginger
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 12:57 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Message:
Thank you so very much for doing all of this
Nick: Eowyn_Shieldmaiden
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 1:26 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Subject: Oh thank you!
Message:
*beaming with great pride*
I too am so proud of us. Wid would be too. Thanks Aerlinn.
Nick: River-Woman
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 1:28 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Message:
Yes, thank you so much, Aerlinn for doing all that. Bless you ;o)
Nick: Weige
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 3:52 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Subject: Thanks Aerlinn!! A beautiful choice!!
Message:
Is that a winged-helm on the side of the pot or is my imagination getting carried away. I'm sure Pat will be very appreciative.
Others have said it better, but it bears repeating - you are all a beautiful and caring bunch of people.
God Bless!!
Nick: Aerin
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 4:14 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Message:
Well done, and thank you!
Nick: Light Of Earendil
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 6:02 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Subject: Aerlinn, thank you so much once again...
Message:
you have outdone yourself. Your taste is impeccable.
Nick: Altaira
Date/Time: Tue, 10/29/2002 at 6:41 PM PST
In Reply To: One more update on the Widfara Fund-
Message:
Very very well done!